A Few Quick Thoughts...

It is true that some of these blog entries have had a somewhat melancholy tone to them, and I think that is because I just really didn't want to brag, when all I wanted to say was wonderful, amazing, fantastic, incredible better than all of my wildest dreams. This is not to say that I haven't been letting you in to my inter-most thoughts, because in reality that first month of being here was very rough, even though every day I walked around with a gigantic smile on my face (not very French indeed) and everyone could tell that I was not from here before I even spoke my very American accented French, and the men could tell that I was fresh meat and that they would love to teach me the ways of the French. Aside from all of that, it occurs to me that perhaps I'm not a very good blogger, it is not that I don't like writing about myself in the most narcissistic of ways, the truth being that I love it, I have filled four journals and counting while I have been here, but really the fact of the matter is that I got a little distracted this last month here in Paris. But it is never to say that I haven't been thinking of this little blog of mine, whether or not anyone in the world is reading this. I certainly hope so, though I don't know and the life that I lead feels very far away, though by every day every minute it becomes closer and closer again, but in a very refreshing way. I am incredibly sad to be leaving this life here in Paris, not just because it is the happiest I have ever been in my life and that seems to be saying a lot, but that it is the realization that it is so easy to change once you do it, the key is to do it. I will never be the same after my time here, this is fantastic, I love it, that was entirely the point, and I hope that everyone in their own life will always have the opportunity to make their dreams a reality and all I can do is encourage everyone I know to do as much as they can to keep changing, to keep breaking their own rules, to keep discovering themselves. I feel that I sound like some over-dramatic self help book, but I really don't give a shit. It's the fucking truth, damn straight.
xox,
A

Magic- magical and even more magical...

There have been many places that I have lived in my life that have felt like living a dream, moments that are just so good that you think to yourself if this is a dream I would be fine never waking up. It's such a cliche, but I absolutely love cliches especially when they work out so perfectly for the situation. The other night I thought that I might be in a Haruki Murakami novel as a black cat walked me home, fortunately I like cats and don't believe in superstition but it was after I had had the most amazing night on the Pont des Arts enveloped in what seemed like a dream. A moment when you, (if you were here) would think to yourself, yes this is what it is like to live in Paris. The view of the Eiffel Tower, to be able to do whatever you want to do, to know that you are free, truly and unfathomably free. I was having this thought of magic--- magical and even more magical again and at that moment the black cat crossed my path and walked beside me to my door. A good omen I believe, and since then I have seen the cat many more times on my return home in the evenings. The cat aside, many friends have told me to savor every moment that I am here, this is the best and the worst thing to say, you believe that you are savoring loving every minute but at the same time it is easy to think perhaps I should be doing more, but then you sit back and acknowledge the fact that it is not a job to savor that the Parisian way of life is just that, long lunches, days in the park, sitting at a cafe for hours writing, this is all you need to be doing to savor every moment, and I must admit I've gotten quite good at it indeed. Yes it is true the new sun has finally arrived in Paris, and with it, for me at least, a new me.

Talk about starting over...

I am back online after over a week hiatus from my computer completely crashing and losing everything. Ok I didn't lose everything because I am completely neurotic when it comes to backing things up, I guess for this exact reason. A note to everyone- always bring the start up disk for your computer whenever you travel to a foreign country lest you end up like me with a new hard drive all in French including the keyboard. It is ok though as I seem to be getting used to having the A where the Q is… But regardless this past week of being off the grid has been difficult to say the least as all of the work I have been doing requires being able to access my email at any time and after all I am a writer and without this machine I write differently. Don't get me wrong I went back to the good old pen and paper and I could rumminate on how this is important to get back to the roots and all that and it's not good to be dependent on a machine but honestly I don't care. I need this apple for better or worse. All that being said the last two weeks have been absolutely incredible I have done several fantastic things: which I will indulge upon a little bit later. The weather is almost finally nice though a bunch of dark clouds just rolled in but at least it is finally warm. Hope everyone is doing well.
xox,
A

Je ne vais pas m'excuser de vivre.

After three weeks of getting to know Paris, and Paris getting to know me, I can honestly say that it's been a little rough but that more and more I absolutely fall in love with this city. Ok, I loved it before but that is not to say that it hasn't been hard, in fact most of the people that I have met from school agree it is a hard city to be alone in, aside from the fact that it is spring and that there are lovers everywhere, and aside from the dreary weather, it can be quite difficult to find your way, simple tasks like buying groceries, going to the movies or buying a metro card can be incredibly challenging and stressful when you don't understand the language. Regardless, this is not to complain but only to express that many of the people that I have met here find themselves overwhelmed with the fact that they are in Paris and want to do so many things that they find it hard to do anything and that it is tempting to just stay in bed, but then you can't because you are in Paris. However, your brain does get overwhelmed by so much input that it takes a moment to process it all. I took a serious rest yesterday and it was something that was absolutely necessary, yes it's Paris, but it's still life and you still need to kick it sometimes. And loneliness is like money it comes and it goes. So I embrace my sometimes loneliness, I actually find that I am not lonely at all but quite enjoy the possibilities. (Truthfully I've met more lonely men than women, not sure quite what this means yet, though I have some ideas...) And as my french slowly gets better day by day, (I actually had my first real conversation all in French the other night, granted I had had copious amounts of wine...but I believe I did quite well and at least could carry on a somewhat entertaining conversation) the city begins to open up in a new way when you actually know where you are going and don't need the phrase book anymore, although perhaps it was just sunny today. That was one of the things that I truly fell in love with about new york, you could eat by yourself, discover new places and "travel" even though you may have just been going down a block that you never went down. In this way I think it's good to be a tourist even where you are from, where you live now, maybe we should keep trying to be tourist because it means you keep looking at something new, or with new eyes even with on the familiar. There have been many spaces in Paris that remind me of the time that I was here on my senior high school trip, and they are all for the most part great memories. I will walk down a street in the Latin Quarter and swear that it looks like the street of the hostel we stayed at, or the other day I was at Pompidou and remembered us all chilling at what seems to me to be the exact same cafe, having had a few beers in the day time and singing with a local musician. It doesn't feel like it was yesterday, but it has a very lovely feeling of warmth to it and makes me smile. And a feeling of joy and freedom comes over me as I continue to get more organized with Paris. I have a new moleskin Paris pocket size book, basically you make your own lonely planet. It has maps should you need and then the perfect system to keep track of all that you want to do, hidden spots that you have found and of course a section for notes which I broke out Saturday night to record a common, very important French phrase, "Je ne vais pas m'excuser de vivre." Translated: "I won't give any excuses for my life." Enjoy.
A Sante!
Augs

The Happiest Place on Earth!

All right so after having been in Paris for about three weeks and not really doing many touristy things at all, I took the plunge and went to Disneyland Paris. (Actually though it's probably not a tourist spot at all but more for les enfants) Ok, I've been to the D'orsay, but only because I love it and it was top priority for me to go there and see the Luncheon painting of Manet that so moved me when I was seventeen the last time I was there. And after going to the D'orsay I did go to Monmartre to see the sunset from the top, it seemed an apropos thing to do after looking at all of the Toulouse Lautrec paintings, of course he and the women who danced at the Moulin Rouge could have never anticipated that it would become the Las Vegas/ Disneyland/ commericalized tourist destination that it is today, but still it is a beautiful spot in Paris regardless. But back to the fact that I went to Euro Disney... I haven't been to Disneyland since I was sixteen for an art history project in high school and this time round I have to say that there was something fantastic about being there. Aside from the fact that in some way it completely relates to my project on women regarding fairytales etc... there is something about this fake world that you enter into that all started from one very simple mouse that makes you want to skip around and feel like a kid again. It is truly a happy place, at least it was for me and Caroline who did every single ride, thanks to the fastpass and that we were there on a wednesday. Yes I am in Paris and there is beauty all around and so many beyond cultural things to do that I haven't yet done, it may seems silly to go to Disneyland and it was but at the same time it was just great. I've of course got a list of all the things I want to do going, but I am here for two more months and I feel no rush to go to the Louvre yet as I know I will make it there. More so, I am on the hunt for fantastic restaurants of which there are many and as I figure out the streets of Paris and get more acclimated to the menu and actually speaking full complete sentences in French, I find that each day here gets better and better. But I know what you must be thinking though, really aug Disneyland?!?!? All I have to say is just watch the Eurodisney fabulousness video I shot and you will see why...and clearly it's a small world after all.
xoxo,
Augs

After a somewhat brief hiatus in writing this blog, I now begin again with several posts all of which I have been working on gradually, though needed a moment to catch my breath here in Paris. That is not to say that because I have been some what lagging on the blog I have not been writing. On the contary, I'm not sure if I have ever written so much in my entire life. I write everywhere about everything. And the project that I am working on is full steam ahead which is incredibly exciting. Despite the fact that the weather has been less than favorable, it is still Paris and I am still here enjoying what the city has to offer. Yesterday Caroline and I went to Victor Hugo's house at the Place des Voyages. A charming square that is absolutely lovely. One that if you found on your own instead of being advised to go there would be a hidden gem in this city, minus the large tour buses that roll through every hour. However, it is fun to imagine the formidable writer, Victor Hugo actually living there way back when as some of the rooms remain unchanged from his time. One incredible book that my mom gave me before I left, appropriately called a Writer's life in Paris advises not to get to caught up however in chasing the ghosts that are Paris. After all many great people have lived here and worked but the truth of the matter is that Paris like any place around the world is constantly changing and it is better to make your own Paris and discover your own spots than to keep trying to be part of a time that you were never in. That being said, we found an excellent lunch place near the Bastille, a place with a good plat du jour for a good price, a place where you could linger for hours. I have in my possesion a list of places recommended by a friend of a friend, and primarily this is good for which open air markets are the best, the boulangeries and restaurants. I find this morning that there are so many things which I want to do here and my time already seems to be counting down. ...

First Impressions

The metro is much better here than in New York, not only does it tell you when the next train is coming, you are also able to use your cell phone underground. It seems crazy now after being able to use my phone on the train that New York hasn't made this happen yet.
The French people are not rude they all are rather nice, perhaps this is because of my attempts to speak French regardless, I think that the sterotype of the rude French as well as the rude New Yorkers is because they don't want more people coming to their city, it's more about keeping up appearances so that the city remains their own.
No matter where you go in Europe you still find that same song list of American tunes. Last week I was out dancing at this club called Favela Chic, which was supposed to be Brazilian, and perhaps they played one or two Brazilian songs, but really they just played the same European American selection of music that always pleases a crowd. When we walked in to the packed bar after a long wait outside they were rocking Elvis Jailhouse Rock and the Beatles. A very strange time machine this club became. For instance, I love the song Jump Around as much as the next person but the fact that I have never heard that song in a club in America is comical to say the least. And of course, Jump Around clearly makes me think of my Paros Girls and the ridiculousness of Saloon D'or but just how much fun we had anyway. People just go crazy for that Jump Around song, people need to jump I guess.

Foie Gras and then some...

Ok, so I've got some foie gras, salumi and pretty goo blue cheese in my fridge and what's not to love about a place where a glass of wine is $3, though never mind that a whole bottle is $3 at the supermarche. But seriously the food I've been eating, so far there have definitely been two meals to write home about. The other night Caroline and I ate at this amazing restaurant, where we had escargot and then Chateau Brianand. A delicious perfectly cooked filet of beef with foie gras on top surrounded by broccolli and mushrooms. Finished off by a chocolate souffle with pistacio cream. A-maz-ing! The second fantastic meal was a restaurant in the marais that was recommended to us and did not disappoint. A Pasitits of duck confit and again foie gras in a curry sauce. It was like a little present on the plate, wrapped in it's own package and filled with juliened carrots and deliciousness. While we both still don't fully understand everything that is on the menu, we still have been eating well.
Caroline is heart-broken like me, and together we practice french and discuss our coeur brise while we see beauty all around us. As she is Brazilian we speak a combination of european english and bad french. It occurs to me that learning a new language is much like getting over love you have to train yourself to think in a new way. The other day, I had my first dream in French, which I take to be a very good sign that I may actually somehow be learning this crazy language of love as they say. The weather has been rainy, grey and cold, but as my nana says the rain washes away all that was bad so that you may start fresh, it makes sure that you are clean and it certainly feels that way as I await the sun and the warmer days of new.

My new friend Caroline and I. And of course the Eiffel Tower, which as cliche as it is, still amazing to see when you are just strolling down the street on a Saturday night.

Just to say...

that I literally ate the best deep dish spinach quiche that I have ever had in my entire life and that was pretty much the highlight of my day, aside from having some very good bordeaux wine, of course. Ahh Paris, j'adore.
xox,
augs

From Montreuil first two days...

First two days in Paris. The flight here was lovely thanks to good movies and more importantly an excellent Bonjour Paris mix by Kate, I grooved the whole way here. Once I arrived to my lovely incredibly large three room apartment, I just kept repeating to myself I can't believe it, and then I realized that I should probably stop saying I can't believe it. The first day out on very few hours of sleep I go to meet Monteil. Having forgotten to exchange money at the airport I try to use an ATM which is of course broken and almost eats my card, but luckily doesn't. After that small scare I have a similar anxiety to that of the day of any event I've ever participated in planning, that butterfly heart racing very shakey feeling from lack of sleep and excitement that you hope everything will work out. But I arrive early to meet Monteil at St. Placide, and she is fantastic, and we get along instantly and go for tea and ice cream. We discuss many things, her work as a writer, my novel, life, dating and of course my project. She tells me many wonderful stories about her and Simone and Satre as I just sit there, literally in awe at my good fortune of finding this woman. She will be turning sixty this year and feels a sense of mortality and is so pleased to be able to transmit the wisdom she gained from older women. She says that it was older women who helped her and she is so thrilled that I am interested in her life and her stories and the stories of other French women. After that we go to her home and have dinner, which her partner makes for us. A beautiful meal of proscutto, tomatoes, artichoke hearts and basil ravioli. I go home to bed and wake up at 3:30 in the morning, decide to completely unpack and write some more till 7 in the morning, upon which I finally fall back asleep. Today I wondered around my neighborhood and ate at a local Bistro with live music and locals dancing and claping to the beat. A beyond quintessential Parisian experience, almost so much so that it borders on cliche, but no matter there is a reason that people come here to see the joie de vivre that is the way of life here where any one can do what they want as illustrated this evening. I'll be keeping in touch frequently as I feel I may become obsessed with this little blog of mine, and if at any point you say to yourself fuck Augustine living it up in France, check travelzoo, come visit or go do what you really want to do. I mean really why the fuck not? Life is short, but we make it longer when we are truly happy.
xoxo,
Augs

View from my window

So the adventure begins

So the adventure begins… After having missed my flight to Paris I am in the Sheraton hotel in Washington Dullas, where upon arriving I stop for a drink at their bar appropriately named the Cosmopolitan, but I of course had a Manhattan on the rocks with Makers. I meet a fantastic self proclaimed “gay biker” named Johnny, who tells me about the best Mexican food in Warrington, Virginia, a place called El Agave. He says he’ll take me there one day when I am back in town, and wants my name as I’ll be famous one day he says. It’s lovely to acquire such confidence in strangers, he is proud and thanks me for my work at the Center and the cause of gay marriage, and I feel good about this and miss the people at the Center. He has a bar thru his nose and goes to Burning Man every year and can tell that I would be a good camping buddy. It’s funny the people that you meet on the road who you can tell have similar view points as you. He is part of an organization called the Dullas triangles, I tell him I will look it up, he’s clearly had too many but no matter we are at the hotel bar together, with two south Korean bartenders and he knows the correct pronunciation of bejing and shanghai, even though he grew up in Oklahoma, but as he says he is educated Oklahoma, and I get his whole story of his childhood in Tempee, Arizona. Being an adolescent in a small town and getting beat up and spit on because he was no good at sports, and only the jocks were praised, until he moved to Oklahoma and they treasured those who were good at academics and it wasn’t until later when he was in college that he realized (because people told him) that he was actually the cool guy because he was smart. All this in the matter of half an hour, people just want to share their stories and you have to let them and listen. My only wish is that my memory was a good as their stories, though if I capture it now at least that is something. At this moment in time it appears that we have made the kind of friends that might actually keep in touch, though clearly this remains to be seen. Of course I doubt that I will ever make it to el Agave in virgina, even though he has boasted that it is the best chile relleno he has ever eaten and I love to eat, which I tell him and he instantly knows just by looking at me that this is something I would appreciate. All the matter I have his fantastic business card and anything is possible, I may travel the world or at least to Virginia for the best chile relleno. But for right now I am here, in the Sheraton, planning to order breakfast in bed, my favorite kind of breakfast and then to prepare for my flight which will now be leaving at 4pm to arrive in Paris on Saturday at 6 am. In truth I was happy to miss my flight to stay in this clean relaxing hotel and sleep like I have never slept before, as I am utterly exhausted after getting ready to leave New York. Thanks for reading, stay tuned for more updates when I actually arrive in Paris.
Xoxo,
Augs

I can now be found here

On the eve of leaving for Paris... here we go. I'm so excited I'm actually jumping out of my skin. For now though I spent the evening at mcsorrely's saying goodbye to my dear friends, Kate, Tony and Sarah. Lots of drunken screaming, someone's 50th birthday who bought everyone in the bar a round of drinks, always nice. In this blog some have told me to refer to men as a good red wine to be discreet, though I guess the fact that I'm saying that defeats the purpose, oh well, whatever. I hope that I can inspire you all to keep reading and checking in, I imagine that I'll keep it interesting.
xoxo,
augs
p.s. thanks Wilson and Amo for coming up with a catchy name for the blog, love it!